Called to Lead: Be Courageous, Be Strong, Do It in Love

There's a verse in 1 Corinthians that reads almost like a battle command:

"Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love." — 1 Corinthians 16:13

Read it fast and it sounds like a locker-room speech. Read it slow and you'll notice Paul doesn't stop at strength. He adds one more line, and it's the line that actually defines everything before it: do everything in love.

Strength and Love Aren't Opposites

I think a lot of men grow up believing they have to choose between being strong and being loving — that toughness and tenderness live on opposite ends of a spectrum, and picking one side means giving up the other. Paul doesn't leave room for that trade-off. He calls men to be on guard, to stand firm, to be courageous and strong — and then to do every bit of it in love. Not instead of love. Not softened by love. In love.

That's the definition of biblical masculinity as God designed it: knowing how to be strong, and also knowing how to love strong. We're not called to be courageous in spite of love, as if love makes us weaker. We're called to be courageous because of love.

Look at Jesus. He didn't storm into humanity's rescue out of ego or obligation. He was motivated by love, and love is exactly what made His courage look the way it did — sacrificial, patient, aimed at somebody else's good instead of His own reputation. If the most courageous act in history was love-driven, that tells us something about what real strength is actually for.

This matters because plenty of men have real strength and real courage but almost nowhere to point it. Strength without a clear "for whom" tends to curdle into pride or control. Paul's not asking you to be less strong. He's telling you what your strength was actually built to do.

Check the Spirit You're Operating In

Here's a question worth sitting with honestly: what's actually driving your strength right now? Paul's list — on guard, standing firm, courageous, strong — can be powered by very different things. It can come from fear, wanting to control an outcome before it controls you. It can come from anger, using strength as a weapon instead of a shield. It can come from jealousy, competing instead of building. Or it can come from love, defending and believing and taking a stand because you actually care about the people on the other side of your strength.

Even discipline and correction — the harder parts of leading well, whether that's leading a family, a team, or a group of other men — are supposed to flow from that same place. Correction given in fear looks like control. Correction given in love looks like investment. Same action, completely different spirit behind it.

Who You're Surrounded By Matters

One more thing worth asking yourself: are the men around you actually inspiring courage in you, or are they quietly feeding your fear? We become like whoever we spend the most time with. If the men in your circle operate out of fear, anger, or insecurity, that spirit rubs off, whether you notice it happening or not. If they operate out of love-driven strength, that rubs off too. Choosing who speaks into your life isn't a small decision — it shapes which version of "courageous and strong" you're actually becoming.

This is part of why so many men quietly drift for years without meaning to. Nobody sat them down and told them to stop growing — they just stopped surrounding themselves with anyone who'd call it out of them. If you can't remember the last time another man challenged you to be more courageous or more loving, that's worth noticing. It's usually not a sign you've arrived. It's a sign your circle has gotten too comfortable.

Where to Start

Take a minute today and ask yourself plainly: in the areas where I already feel strong, am I operating out of love, or out of something else? And in the relationships where I need to grow, what would it look like to be more courageous and more loving at the same time, instead of picking one?

A confession worth carrying with you today: I am a man of courage that pushes past fear to walk in faith. I will do everything in love.

If you're looking to grow further in this — whether personally or in leading other men — I put together a free resource called Men's Ministry Strategy: Called to Lead, with a vision, rhythms, and a launch plan for building men of courage, faith, and passion. You can find it here: Men's Ministry Strategy: Called to Lead.

You can also find more resources like this inside the Following Jesus app.